Turn my rambling into something I can send

Here's everything in my head about this:

ok so the handover process is broken, or not broken but nobody knows who owns a ticket after 6pm, and we keep having the same argument on monday about it. I think the real issue is we never agreed what counts as urgent. tom says it's covered in the runbook but the runbook was written before the on-call change. also nobody reads the runbook. I want to propose we just have one person named per night and a two line rule for what wakes them up, but I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming tom

It needs to become: a proposal
It's for: my team lead, who knows the on-call rota changed but not that it caused this

Before you write anything, do two things:
- Tell me, in one sentence, what you think my actual point is. If you've got that wrong, everything after it is wrong too, and I'd rather correct you now.
- Tell me which bits of that are the same idea said more than once, and which bits are a different argument that probably belongs somewhere else.

Then write it as a proposal, in my words rather than corporate ones. Keep the specifics and the examples. Cut the hedging.

At the end, list anything I said that you left out, so I can put it back if it mattered.

What you get: Your point in one sentence, then a clean draft, with a list of what got cut.