Prompts · Writing & memos
Say no without wrecking the relationship
A decline that's kind, short, and doesn't leave the door half open.
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Updates as you typeSomeone has asked me for this: A former colleague wants me to review a 40 page grant application by Friday, unpaid, and has already told the funder I'm involved. My real reason for saying no: I don't have the time and honestly the project isn't very good Where I want this to land: I want to offer something smaller instead Write my reply. - Say no in the first two sentences. No warm-up paragraph, no long throat-clearing before the answer. - Be warm about them, clear about the answer. Those are separate jobs. - Don't over-explain. One reason, not a defence. - Match where I want this to land exactly. If I'm not offering an alternative, don't manufacture one to soften it. If my real reason is something I can't say out loud, tell me so, and give me something true I can say instead. Don't invent an excuse for me. Keep it under 120 words. Then, in one line, tell me how this reads to someone who was hoping for a yes.
What you get: A short reply that says no in the first two lines, and a read on how it lands.
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Never invent the excuse
The instruction that carries this one: if the honest reason can't be said, the model has to say so rather than making something up. Fake excuses are how a clean no turns into a mess six weeks later, when you're busy on the Friday you claimed to be away.
Putting the no in the first two sentences is the other half. Buried declines get misread as maybe.
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